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Significant Update

I wasn't  planning for the story to go this way. I wanted to give more background and build slowly up to the situation we were in when I started the story. But that situation changed last month and now here we are, homeschooling. Yup, there's the titular update. I know you don't know me well, so here are some facts: I was valedictorian of my high school class. I have a degree from an Ivy League college. I have a PhD from one of the top physics departments in the country. I'm not saying all this to brag. I'm saying all this to set up the unlikeliness of someone like me, as close as you can be to a professional student, getting kicked out of elementary school. But that's what happened last week.

It's actually for the best. We've all been miserable this year. I've been sick with anxiety since last fall. Stomachaches, heart palpitations, the works. I actually started this blog as a way of dealing with it all. Here's what happened. Let me start with some background. Let's go way back.

Will went to preschool and kindergarten at a Montessori School, where he did great and loved his teachers. We transferred him to the Montessori the the summer before he turned four. He had outgrown his traditional preschool, which we realized the day we were informed that he had taken his shoelace off and used it to whip his teacher's feet. Most likely relatedly, we discovered around the same time that his classmates were learning the alphabet at age three, when he was reading simple words. I was nervous about switching schools, but the Montessori seemed promising and it was great. The summer camp teacher, who was simply wonderful and had a strong connection with him, had him reading full-out by the time he turned four in September. Let me stress that nobody pushed him toward this result. He did it more or less on his own, with adults only supplying the guidance that he craved. He was always a quick, verbal kid. He had many words by age one and was speaking like a pro by 18 months. It seemed natural to us that in a nurturing educational environment -- and in a home that reveres books -- he would read early.

He did great at the Montessori. We switched his brother Ryan to the same school the following year and everything was fine. We opted to keep Will at the Montessori for kindergarten, where he had a fabulous teacher who appreciated his spirit and nurtured his talents. She counseled us to choose a private school for first grade because the public schools would force him to repeat kindergarten (his birthday is 12 days after the cutoff), which would be a disaster given his educational advancement and sensitive temperament. So we chose a small, private school close to the university where my husband and I are both faculty. It has mixed-age classrooms and a very low student-to-teacher ratio. It seemed a good choice -- similar in many ways to the Montessori philosophy, but with even more flexibility.

We had some troubles in the early grades, but episodes were relatively rare and generally during times of transition, like at the beginning or end of the school year. Will became known as a smart kid, but a troublesome one, prone to fidgeting, stubborn, and easily upset. Still, the teachers were kind and professional and we all learned from each other. Time passed and Will grew up feeling appreciated and included.

Will started in a new classroom in September. He'd been looking forward to it. He was aware that fifth grade involved a lot more responsibility (for example, he understood the kids were expected to wear watches on the playground and keep track of time because no teacher would let them know when it was time to come inside). He felt up to the responsibility and excited for a new, more advanced chapter of his education. He loved third and fourth grade and he was ready to take on the challenges of fifth.

I'm going to skip a lot because I just don't have the heart for it anymore. The summary is that the fifth grade teachers decided early on that Will was simply trouble. Trouble and in trouble. They tried to control him very tightly in a manner that we absolutely could not support. We tried it their way and he got depressed. We tried to work with the teachers to find an alternative workable solution, and honestly, I thought we had. But next thing we knew we got a call from the school saying we'd been voted out. This is a huge overview of what is in fact a long and painful story. I am enraged and heartbroken, but also relieved. We are homeschooling Will for the rest of the year. It's not easy, what with our full-time jobs and all, but we're doing our best. Today while I was driving he played with my hair.

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