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Day 10

Well, it's Monday. I wish I were excited about that, but I am not. On the other hand, it is only 8:30 and I've done my yoga practice and it feels great. Today was about connecting: connecting to breath, connecting to yourself, connecting to something greater than yourself. I liked it because there was some balance work, which always takes up enough of my brain space that I forgot for a moment that I'm working physically. 

I guess I'll address once again its being Monday. I think most people don't care for Monday because it's the end of freedom, the return to confinement. It means we have to get up, get the kid(s) up for school, work all day, and only when work is done can we have time to do what we want to do. Of course, by then it's kind of late, people are hungry, and we have to deal with groceries, dinner, etc. This, I hate to say, is my typical experience of work days. But I'm working on it. I'm working on work days. Working from home makes it easier to design my days (sort of) as I choose. There are some things that are beyond my control, like scheduled meetings and the dog's behavior. But a lot of my work time is mine to figure out. That can be a problem, especially when I have a difficult project that I'm supposed to be making progress on. But it can also be nice to choose when and where to work (within the home, of course). My biggest problem these days is that I just don't care about my work. I don't see its significance. The world is upended right now. The kids are at home, we are at home, the government is in crisis, society is divided, white supremacy reigns. It is not great. But, on the other hand, birds enjoy the seed that I put in our feeder. The grass is beautiful covered in frost in the morning. We are healthy and safe. So I feel kind of bad that I feel bad about work. It feels so purposeless yet obligatory. Oh well. This feeling generally recedes by mid-week. Not necessarily the underling feeling, but the acuteness. 

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