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30 Days

I am on a thirty-day yoga journey. I know, it's surprising. I hate yoga, always have. Yoga is for flexible people whose legs don't take up 85% of their height. Yoga is for skinny people who look good in tight pants. Yoga is not for me.

But I discovered this past spring and summer that yoga is for me! When we were in lockdown in Barcelona, stuck in the apartment for weeks, I got stiff and sore. The apartment was lovely but the furniture was garbage and there was nowhere I could sit comfortably for any period of time and relax or read or work. Eventually sciatic pain down my leg drove me to a desperate measure: a yoga video. I had tried yoga in the past and found it difficult and not at all fun. But somehow this time was different. I wasn't good at it, but I was able to do more or less everything in this beginner video. And, shockingly, all of the sciatic pain disappeared after one 20-minute practice. Just one! I felt calm and at peace and sort of accomplished--all of those good things you're supposed to feel after yoga but I could never achieve. Maybe there was something about practicing alone, unjudged, and not comparing myself to others. Maybe the work I had done the previous year on meditation played a role. I don't know exactly what made this time so much better, but mostly I think it was Adriene, the yogi/entrepreneur who runs "Yoga With Adriene." Her style is so gentle and so affirming that even I was convinced that my poses and stretches were beautiful and just perfect for me. She's pretty and dorky and funny and self-aware and pretty much everything I would like to be and now she's my spiritual leader. Doing yoga made me happy. I felt myself grow stronger and more flexible so I did it almost every day in Spain. (Hell, we were in lockdown so I had time on my hands.) I started my first pre-recorded 30-day program with Adriene, "Home," in Barcelona, worked on it through our two weeks in France, Roses, and Toledo, and, yes, finished it back home in the U.S. Keeping up with yoga (and with Adriene) helped ground me during an emotional, confusing time when I mostly wished I could be back in Barcelona. 

I did a second pre-recorded 30-day program later in the summer, but once school started it became more difficult to dedicate the time and I let yoga slide. I practiced sporadically for a while, but had given it up almost entirely by Thanksgiving. So, when Adriene announced her January 2021 program I immediately signed up, eager for my first live 30-day challenge. I have now completed two days. Or three, if you count the first intro video (which you really shouldn't count and it's not part of the 30).  It has been energizing and invigorating to get back into practice. But it's also difficult to notice how much strength and flexibility I have lost the last few months! But it's okay--the important thing is that I'm back at it and enjoying the process and I will improve again. There's something exciting about completing the videos one at a time as they come out. I can't preview what the next day's video will be. I just have to wait until the day comes and take the plunge. The first two practices have reminded me of what I love about Yoga with Adriene. She takes things slowly and focuses on breath, which is also the name of this year's program. She takes us through some challenging (to me) poses and reminds us, always in a gentle, encouraging way, why we're doing it. Both practices have ended with a return to the ground and a focus on breath, a relaxing, reflective way to wrap up. 

I like that this program started two days before the return to work and school, which is tomorrow. It's given me some momentum to take into the workweek--a project that I've already started and I know just how to complete the next step. It reminds me that there are nice things about working from home during a global pandemic. When I feel ready and have the time I can simply stop working and pull out the yoga mat. This is important because I'm not at all looking forward to the return to work. Last semester was really, really tough. I finished up a few days before Christmas close to ready to quit my job (which would be extraordinarily stupid). Since then I have had lots of down time and lots of reading time and now some yoga time and I am a bit more at peace. I don't know how tomorrow will go but I'm not as horrified as I thought I would be. I think I can muster up a bit of grace and make it through. I'll let you know. I plan to write just a bit here every day to correspond with my 30-day yoga program. I don't know that I'll always have much to say, but I started this website as a therapeutic exercise for my brain, as well as to stimulate creativity, so let's do it. 

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